Relationships infuse life with substance and excitement, but they can also be super challenging - because hey, there are few things as triggering as a partner who is pushing all of our buttons. But, we're not as powerless as we may think when it comes to creating an enriching and lasting relationship.
On April 25th we had the honor of hearing from Professional Relationship Coach, Minister, and Creator of Extraordinary Love™, Gabriella Taylor during our Virtual Speaker Series. We enjoyed an engaging time together that was filled with amble ah-ha moments and reflection. While the entire call was transformative, I've pulled out some of the key messages to share with you.
Intimacy Model™: Essentially, our Intimacy Model is the relationship example we each grew up with. How did you see your parents interacting? What type of communication was modeled? I had a moment with this one, because as aware and evolved as many of us are we're still deeply impacted by our Intimacy Model - it weaves its way into almost every aspect of our relationships. And, maybe you have a really positive Intimacy Model that you're happy to emulate, or maybe there are pieces of it that you would like to shift out of. One of the first steps in making this shift is simply being aware of the Intimacy Model you're working with. In those sticky situations, recall yours and consider how the current ‘snag’ could relate to your Intimacy Model. By simply having this awareness and reference point, I seem to reconnect with myself much quicker and take personal responsibility knowing this is an area of growth for me.
Holy Mirror: Ever been triggered by your partner? I know I never have (wink, wink.) There's something about interacting with someone that knows us in a profoundly intimate way that can cause even the calmest amongst us to spin out when things get tense. But, what if we start seeing our partner, or anyone that triggers us, as a mirror that shows areas available for resolution and growth within ourselves? Not always easy, right? While our partners might occasionally do something that bugs us and it is what it is, it can be a powerful exercise to start asking the question, "Is my partner acting as my mirror in this moment?" For me, this question can often shift me out of anger or annoyance and into reflection.
You Have the Power: So often it feels like the peace in our relationship is dependent on our partner helping out with housework, saying the right thing at the right time (in the right tone of voice!), or something else that is out of our control. Gabriella talked about the importance of realizing how much more autonomy we have over our emotions and reactions than we often realize. It's like we're going through life saying, "If my partner just does this and doesn't say that then I'll be happy." But, we have the power to switch that script to something along the lines of, "Ultimately, I hold all power over how I feel and how I navigate life with my partner." How liberating is that? And I know, easier said than done! Consider trying it a few times? Why not?
Be Gentle with Yourself: With all of that said it's so easy to slip back into old patterns and play out pieces of our Intimacy Model we'd rather say goodbye to. Gabriella touched on how we should give ourselves permission to be soft and nurturing with ourselves when we drop back into our old ways, instead of beating ourselves up. We deserve to cut ourselves some slack AND the way we treat ourselves is how we treat others. Be kind and gentle. It is a process.
The wild journey of relationship has no destination but is in a constant and dynamic state of ebb and flow. Becoming more aware of how we're navigating this journey can do wonders for filling it with enhanced joy and opportunities for growth.
If you would like to dive deeper into this call, you can
purchase the recording here.
To learn more about Gabriella Taylor’s 8 week online program “Foundations of Extraordinary Love”, check out the link here. If you're interested, we highly recommend signing up for her Summer session NOW. There is limited space and the program will sell out.
Next up in our Virtual Speaker Series is Dana James, MS, CDN, CNS on Wednesday, May 23. The topic is "Find your Female Archetype". Who doesn't want to know your female archetype? This will explain your relationship to food, why "life" gets in the way, best ways to eat for your body type, and it busts all of those restrictive food myths. This is a true integration of body and mind, science and psychology. Find the answers you've been looking for!!!
Dana James is Columbia University educated, triple certified nutritionist who is also trained in cognitive behavioral therapy. She is the founder of Food Coach NYC and LA, a functional medicine nutrition practitioner that helps correct biochemical and psychological imbalances through nutrition intervention and psychological exploration. Look out for her recently published book titled “The Archetype Diet”. The press is going wild for this content and we are, too!!! You do not want to miss this call.
Mark your calendar and confirm your spot here.
May you honor the sacredness in each relationship and continue evolving on the journey.
with love and gratitude,